Bacause am a woman---- Someone's Facebook post

Sometimes facebook surprises us... If I knew who you were I'd quote you on the blog.. Someone has been thinking about the double standards accorded to women. Food for thought... .. 

I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him"

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three", because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company "Hmmmm.... she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh"
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.

Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am, because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, "aaah! so early? Are u sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She's a witch! Because she's a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me. But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!

Fear... The emotion pulling us behind! The root cause of all women barriers.

Fear is natural. Even the most brave men fear.... Its ok to fear but don't let it gain hold of your ambitions, your dreams because when all is said and done you should only fear disappointing yourself.

According to a 2011 McKinsey report, it was noted that men are promoted based on potential and women on past accomplishments. Sounds familiar? Do you date based on potential? Do men date women based on potential? Oh no! Do you hear a man saying  "She never completed college but man she has so much potential!?  Never in a million years. So why do we women compromise? .On both career and relationship fronts women are judged based on accomplishment rather than potential.

 
In most cases Fear is the root cause of all women barriers. We fear we wont be liked, We fear we will make the wrong choice, We fear we may be judged, We fear reaching out, making decisions. Mot of all we fear being  a bad  mother, daughter or wife. Men on the other hand go for it. They will take a scholarship abroad for 2 years without fearing the "bad husband/ son label". They take a promotion at the earliest opportunity. Does that mean you should not care? No. Strike a balance, Take the opportunity and make it work! Reach out! go for it!

 What this means is that you don't need to hold back. Go out there. get your degree even if your husband doesn't have one ... Don't apologize for your promotion .. Get that car because you can afford it. Go for that trip, Take that scholarship.. Love laugh cry because you have only one opportunity to live

 Go for it! don't fear.....

'A quote from a song by Beyonce borrowed from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie'

Feminism.... What is this all about now?

I feel sad  that some people go around using the word feminist or feminism to imply something else.

They don't bother even to look up the meaning in the dictionary. In fact they use it to refer to their aggressive female boss who wears no make up, probably never wears a dress or perfume... you get the picture?
This is not feminism. The dictionary definition of a feminist is one who supports feminism. So lets define feminism;

"Feminism is a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment."


So yes , I  am a feminist. I believe there are men who are feminists too... I believe I should have equal rights and opportunities as men. Does this annoy you? Do you believe that women like me are the reason why men  are alcoholics or are having their  physiological "engines" cut off in Nyeri? Or maybe we are the cause of increased drop out rates for boys?  No apologies here.

 Feminism is here to stay until we get equal rights and opportunities. May be not overnight but am sure my time and my grandmother's time are significantly different. This was only made possible by women who chose to believe, act, speak out... even through a blog!  

Welcome!